Oh, really? I thought you’d want your food cold.

I’m a waitress, and it is my profession of choice at the moment as I try to write books and publish them. I was unemployed for a while last year and applied only for waitressing jobs because I had done it before and liked the work. Sure, there are some big pitfalls to serving food, but to me the benefits outweigh them. The hours and money are decent, and it’s easy, mindless work. Basically I like having a job where I can just go in, get my work done, and go home. There’s no drama involved, and there’s no worry about what I have to have done for the next day or week or month like there was in my last job that stole my soul away for a while.

However, tonight I had a really bad customer that made me question why I do this.

From the moment this man sat down until the moment he left he wanted to complain about something to me, or had some snarky comment. I had to stand around and listen to his crap for what felt like forever and he was holding meΒ  up all night.

I went up to this man and asked him what he wanted to drink and said “Coffee – but only if it’s hot.”

Same with his food… “It better be hot,” he said.

And I’m like, “No shit. Do you think people come in here asking for tepid coffee and luke warm food?”

Sometimes people say the dumbest things, and I can’t fathom sometimes why miserable people who are so full of complaints even go out to eat in restaurants. Sometimes I think they come out to eat just so they can treat a waitress badly and get a rise out of my misery.

I prevailed in the end, because somehow in the midst of all our shortcomings at the restaurant, he found it within himself to tip me well. Or perhaps he knows that I charge a personal asshole fee to certain customers.

Who knows? I’m just glad this night is over and that Thanksgiving (and an extra day off) is tomorrow.



6 thoughts on “Oh, really? I thought you’d want your food cold.

  1. Cassie says:

    oh I remember those people. Seems the world is full of them, or maybe it is just the “perks”of the service industry. I developed a backstory for these rude over demanding people. It went something on the lines of… He is so miserable because he is having a bad day and is powerless in his life to take it out on the people in his life that deserve it. So in my head I would think all the while killing them with kindness I would think sorry your husband is cheating on you but you are frigid. Sorry you suck at your job sir and they promoted the 23 year old kid. I would laugh at their rudeness and tell my made up stories about rude customer service to my coworkers on the line.

    Have a happy thanks giving πŸ™‚

    • Thanks Cassie. Trust me, I know these people each have their own issues, but dang. Imagine if I let my bad attitude loose on my customers? Waitressing would be a whole new ballgame..

  2. Cassie says:

    It is why i always made excuses for them πŸ™‚ Had to vent somehow, just so the good customers, the ones that are fun, wouldn’t pick up on how irritated I could become. My best friend said you could tell when I was at my limit, my witch laugh came out and my words were honey sweet. Well except for the time i dropped the red wine on the horrible witch. πŸ™‚

  3. I wish I was as compassionate as Cassie when I was waitressing. When customers were evil, I’d spit in their food.
    A wrote an essay about waitressing: $2.13 an Hour: The Zen of Waitressing. I hear everything you’re saying, sister. Sometimes you have to deal with people who have forgotten the common graciousness of human interaction.
    And then you have the most wonderful customers in the world. So, it balances out.
    Happy thanksgiving!

    • Bahahahahah!!! I’ve never gone so far as to spit in people’s food.. but I can’t say I haven’t thought about it. I got my pleasure with this guy by microwaving his coffee til it was practically boiling. Want your shit hot? Burn yourself.

      • Okay, maybe I technically never spit in anyone’s food, but along that line. Evil.

        Boiling coffee? Me likey. Maybe he’ll stop wagging that fricking annoying tongue of his with a third degree blister on it…

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