Unfortunately for you, this isn’t one of those nights where I’m going to post a photo or a poem and then skulk off to my room and avoid blogging.
Unfortunately for you, I’m going to be totally honest and say that I’m a total mess – sort of a numb, unfeeling all but despair mess. For all the usual reasons. Being broke. Not being able to pay bills. Being alone. Being lonely. Not writing.
All of those things, and more.
The truth is, I feel a bout of dark depression coming on and I am trying to fight it off and I think I’m losing the battle to keep it at bay.
I need to find something to grab onto that will pull me out of this and I am not sure what it’s going to be yet. Or maybe I will fall into it and this will become a bad place for a little while, I don’t know. When I’m depressed, the whole world is a bad place.
I hate mental illness. I hate being unable to control my emotions. This fucking sucks.