Six Things That Suck

#Reverb13? I can’t even right now. I abandoned the internet for almost a week because I couldn’t face logging on to WordPress and writing posts that rip out my heart reflecting over the past year – the year that sucked more than any other year.

I have nothing positive to say today.

On my old blog I did a weekly practice called Grace in Small Things where I would list five things I was grateful for that week. Sounds nice, right? So why is it that half the time I was thinking about what to write in those posts I was coming up with things that I was UNgrateful for?

At any rate, here are six things that (in my humble opinion) suck big ol’ donkey butt:

1. Kids that don’t listen. Seriously. Every parent has had that moment when they are standing in a roomful of people repeating over and over: “Put on your coat. Put on your coat. Put on your coat now!” and your kid is just doing anything BUT put their coat on, up to and probably including laughing at your vain effort to get them to just do what you say. I had to deal with this last night when I was leaving my friend C’s house, so it’s fresh and nasty in my mind.

2. Fucking depression. It sucks. It makes me curse a lot and write blog posts in list form because I am just too messed up in my little head to write a coherent blog post about how I’ve barely left the house for a week and all I’ve done with my time is watch five season’s of Grey’s Anatomy and crochet an entire blanket, a scarf, and about 1/3 of another blanket.

3. Psychotic Grandmothers. My little Squido’s grandmother (not my mom, the baby daddy’s mom) CUT SQUID’S HAIR this weekend. Herself. Not at a salon, but in her bathroom. It’s. Totally. Butchered. And of course I didn’t have time to take her to a salon so I had to send my poor kid to school today with a shitty haircut, and the worst part of it is, Squid thinks her new cut is awesome. She’s wrong.

4. Snow. I just hate snow. I know there are a lot of people out there who get all jazzed up and Oooo it’s so beautiful, but no. Snow, for me, is hell. It is not a fucking winter wonderland. We had a few inches of wet, slushy snow dumped on us on Saturday and then last night what was left of it froze over and turned my porch and driveway into a sheet of ice. I expect a fall.

5. When you run out of yarn. This could be a metaphor for all artists, but I am running out of yarn for the project I am working on and that’s just so annoying when you think you bought enough for your project to begin with. Artists run out of paint, musicians run out of energy, writers run out of words. It’s a thing that sucks, I think.

6. The chocolate in Candy Crush. Notice that I didn’t say Candy Crush sucks. I am a total convert addict to this game, the game I vowed to never play because I have seen so many people become addicted and be ridiculous getting so mad at their phones. But then, one day I dove in and downloaded the app and I’m hooked. I’m relatively new to the game, so I’m only on level 57. Now, as soon as I took the train into the Minty¬† Mountains, I’ve been experiencing this new phenomenon of chocolate that grows luck a fucking fungus and totally messes up my game. What is this shit?!?!

Sorry folks, I’ve had a bad week.. and what are blogs for if you can’t bitch and complain on them?